Wednesday, June 11, 2008


How many times in our lives are we faced with something disappointing? I think if I had a dollar for each disappointing moment in my life I'd be a rich lady! I realize that we all face disappointments in our lives. Sometimes they are huge and other times they are over small things, but they are always there.

How do I handle disappointment? Until recently, I did not handle this emotion very well. I would get upset, angry and even pout! This is a bit embarrassing to admit, but it's true. Having 6 children who have learned to imitate me in this area made me realize the need to change.

How do you change a 41 year old habit? You transform yourself through God's Word. I have been devouring God's word lately. In reading through it, I have come to realize that He is truly in control of EVERY DETAIL of my life. So, if I have expectations that something will work out a certain way and it gets changed, I need to be confident enough in God's purpose for my life to just accept it.

I want to give you a snippet into my life one recent Saturday to show you how I was better able to handle disappointment.

I woke up early to go to the annual used curriculum/book sale in our area. We all look forward to this event each year. As I left the house, I noted how messy things were in the den, toys were everywhere. Since I left my husband at home with the younger 3 I just assumed he would have them clean up their mess. I got home to find the house in the same condition that it was in earlier, and my kids were all in their P.J.'s at 11:30am!! My son had a baseball game at 1:00pm so this was problematic.

Ok ladies, here's where I had a choice to make. I could allow myself to get upset with my spouse, or I could trust God and let it roll off of my back. I am so grateful that He allowed me to let it go. We were able to get it cleaned up together and still see the last part of my son's baseball game. The important thing here is that I didn't hurt my relationship with my husband. In giving it some thought, I realized that I had not verbalized to him my expectation that the toys would be cleaned up before I came home, he had done nothing wrong. In the past I would have gotten upset and hurt our relationship, God is good.

I have had several opportunities for disappointment to throw me for a loop this week, but through the Holy Spirit's prompting I have been able to change my reaction and let it go. Here's the verse that has helped me in this:

Philippians 4:11-13 And I am not saying this because I feel neglected, for I have learned to be satisfied with what I have. I know what it is to be in need and what it is to have more than enough. I have learned this secret, so that anywhere, at any time, I am content, whether I am full or hungry, whether I have too much or too little. I have the strength to face all conditions by the power that Christ gives me.

Now I am looking to God to help me change my children's reaction to disappointment. I believe that in time, by setting the right example they will also begin to change. As women we seem to struggle with our emotions, God's word is what we need to keep us emotionally healthy.


The Patterson 5 said...

Thank you for the uplifting message. I found myself nodding my head as you spoke of pouting when dissappointed. That happens here too. May God continue to work on my character to smooth out the rough edges that get caught up in the dissappointments so things can just roll on off! Good job handling the messy den!

Sue J said...

Our expectations are not always translated upon spouse and children--that is for sure! Even with good communication of these things, sometimes the circumstances at the time overshadow what we're supposed to be doing.

(And it's so affirming to know that you are needed as a mom and a wife in these times!)

But, I know I have had to build up quite a history of blunders before putting these times into perspective. God teaches through just these circumstances.

"May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word." 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

Chatty Kelly said...

Guilty as charged! Yes, I have these "expectations" and then fail to communicate them and wonder why they don't happen. Or worse, I communicate them but somehow things are lost in the translation from Venus to Mars...(men are from Mars...). I have found that when I am able to let things go, EVERYONE is happier, including me.

But my tongue is bleeding from biting it!!!! It's hard to be quiet! May God help me control the rudder of this ship!

HisPrincess said...

Me too! I have often been guilty of expecting my husband to just know what needs to be done. He has enabled me to do this by living up to my expectations most of the time. But when he doesn't I suddenly seem to forget all the good he has done, and that he almost ALWAYS gets it right!

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