Friday, June 27, 2008

She Speaks Part 3

I've saved the best for last!

Renee Swope spoke at the last Saturday session called, "Beyond the Shadow of a Doubt". (Renee and I are pictured above)

She focused on the doubt filled, fear driven, Gideon. God, overlooking his fears and doubts, saw him as a mighty warrior and took him on a journey which required total faith and ended in victory for Gideon and God.

She taught that in the shadow of doubts we have fear, but in the shadow of the cross we find God's Truths.

After the teaching, she had everyone take out a piece of paper and write down any doubts or fears that they had. I wrote a few on the paper. Then I walked to the front of the room and laid the paper at the foot of the cross.

Approaching the cross, I knelt down and closed my eyes to pray, SUDDENLY---

I had a vision of my past life as a child in grade school. In the vision, we went outside for P.E. and the team captains had to choose whom they wanted on their teams. Not only did they overlook me, but not being very athletic, they fought over who had to take me on their team.

I just sat there weeping. I couldn't believe the pain. I had not thought about this event for many, many years. God knew I needed a healing.

To help me deal with my fears of submitting my articles for publication, God lovingly reminded me of my painful past. You see, I was rejected by man, but HANDPICKED BY GOD!!! Praise God for this weekend! God did not overlook me.
Armed with the confidence that He has called me into this ministry, I can rest assured that He will publish my work when and where He wants to.

What a freeing time for me! I opened my eyes and looked around, God is so amazing. He loves us so much that He is willing to show us where we are bound, and then He sets us FREE! I left that paper there, at the foot of the cross. I left and just praised God for releasing me from the pain and fear associated with my past.

As I left, I picked up a paper with a promise (they were pre-written and prayed over) it said, "Called", and the scripture was Isaiah 43:10 "You are my witness," declares the LORD, "and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am He."

If you have been called by God but there is something holding you back, pray and ask Him to show you why you are bound and pray that He will set you free.


Chatty Kelly said...

Hooray! I love this story, and glad I was there to share it with you. God is the great healer, and now I am going to ask you when you submit - no fear! Just submit!

Bonita said...

Such a beautiful story of God's faithfulness and His understanding of our human nature. Guess we know now why He opened up the door to She Speaks for you!

The Patterson 5 said...

God is so good! He knows exactly what we need before we do! I am so glad you received this gift at the conference and that you shared it with us!

Robin said...

What a beautiful thing for God to do for you! He loves you so very much.
It still amazes me how God met so personally with all of us at She Speaks. Our God is an awesome God!

Starr said...

God really spoke to all of us last weekend. I came away with the confidence I needed to submit and not worry about the outcome. I am trusting God to take care of the details!! What release for me!! I needed that so badly. In fact, I got bold and submitted my first story this week to a paying market. We'll see what happens. But no matter what, At least I did it!! Now I know I can, through Christ of course.

Loved your recap of the conference! The pictures are great! I never got up my nerve to approach the P31 gals for pictures. Sure wish I would have. I'll do better next year.
Love and Blessings,

Robin (the pensieve one) said...


What a special moment for you...amazing how God used Renee's words to reach so many, so intimately.

My doubts were less present at SheSpeaks, and began to creep in more loudly after :/. Holding to His truth keeps them at a distance, it's when I look away I begin to sink.

A n y w a y, lovely post :).

(p.s. I tried to find your email address because I'm trying to write all the SheSpeaks girls I can find to let them know about a writing opp. for an online magazine I co-edit...if you're interested in being added, be sure to let me know, k? :) ).

Billie said...

You have an incredible gift for writing...I love your ability to communicate details without feeling bogged down.

He gave you the desire...just submit!

Terri Tiffany said...

You wrote this story beautifully! I so can relate as I was always chosen last too - not athletic. I hope you've set aside all your doubts about writing and are going full speed ahead! I have my moments when I wonder Why, God? Is this really what I should be doing? And then He answers through another person, an acceptance, a note or comment. May you be encouraged! If I can help, I would love too also!

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